WTF Wednesday

The question as old as time. WTF is the meaning of life?

Really!

The older I have gotten the more I tend to wonder.

Was it better when life expectancy was much shorter?

My life was really good until I was in my mid thirties.Medical incompetency caused an undiagnosed post-op infection. The infection lead to sepsis, which nearly took my life. I fought hard to recover.

For what? My marriage ended. I lost all of my savings. My business eventually went under.

I have never genuinely recovered. Oh, my health did --- but my finances, my ability to love, my courage, my enjoyment for the day --- they are all gone, stolen by Dr. Olenginski in Kingston and Dr. Chu in Philadelphia. It isn't their errors that still sting, it was their complete lack of remorse and compassion and concern. They fucked up, and without so much as an apology, they abandoned me, causing a spiral of destruction that stays with me to this very day.

I remain caught in a trap. Don't get me wrong, the bars of this cage are all in place because of my bad decisions. Unlike the youth of today, I seek no one to fix my problems. I simply want a opportunity to dig myself out, but it is hard to dig from the bottom of the pit.

There has been betrayal. There has been false hope. There has been flat out dishonesty.

In the end, the decisions to believe, to have hope, to wrongly place trust are mine. It has led me to one conclusion --- my life has no purpose. I walk the treadmill, barely keeping pace. At times I falter and lose ground, but never do I get ahead.

So I ask, WTF is the meaning of life? Or perhaps more accurately, WTF is the point of going on? No matter what we do, we all meet the same fate.

Remembered by some. Forgotten by most.

And those who remember, will eventually pass, and then no one will be left to remember. Our lives, our existence, our time on Earth ---- will have mattered naught.